“For me, resistance is not yielding to the temptation to conform” – Adam Dicko (Mali) – 2/3

Our conversation with Adam Dicko goes on. After the first part where she told us how her best friend’s passing influenced her decision to take part in the Youth Action Movement (Mouvement d'Action pour la Jeunesse – MAJ), we’re now discussing the importance of solidarity and sharing information about sexual and reproductive health.

Adam was interviewed by Françoise Moudouthe in late 2019, as part of a global project documenting girls’ resistance. The conversation was also edited into this three-part interview by Nana Bruce-Amanquah and Edwige Dro for our #GirlsResistWA series. You can learn more about the series here. 

Trigger Warning: This conversation contains mentions of violence and abuse that may be triggering for readers. Kindly take a moment to decide if you want to keep reading. If you proceed, we encourage you to focus on your well-being and stop reading at any point if you need to.

**********

I would like to talk about your childhood, to understand how you became such a committed girl. Could you tell me about the place you consider home, then and now?  

I was born in Bamako. I grew up there with my parents and I still live there. Home, for me, is our village in central Mali called Douentza. I’ve only been there twice, but it’s the place I consider home.

And why is this place home to you when you have spent so little time there?

Because I feel more comfortable there, at home. The people there are easygoing, and everybody is happy.  You can feel people’s happiness and warmth. They don’t need much to enjoy life. It’s different from Bamako, where capitalism took over everything. In Douentza however, I feel the warmth. I feel comfortable there. 

Apart from your best friend, who were the most important people in your teenage years? What’s your relationship with them? 

Ever since my friend died, I’ve had girlfriends and comrades, but I’ve never had a best friend again. My parents are the most important people in my life. They always supported me, especially after I lost my best friend. Back then, it wasn’t easy with some relatives, but they helped me feel less guilty. I have a special relationship with my dad. In addition to being my father, he’s my best friend as well as my guide. I advise him too. He supports me in my fights. Today, he prevents other parents in the community from sending their children into forced marriages. I’m close to my mother too, but I have a special relationship with my father.

What about negative people during your adolescence? Did you have some around you? 

So many! I had more negative people than positive ones around me. The adults in the neighbourhood did not like seeing a young girl talking about sexual issues, being an activist in an association, appearing on television, and hanging out with boys to talk about condoms. Some went to my parents to tell them I was brazen and rude, and that I sat in the streets with boys to talk about condoms. It wasn’t right or acceptable for them. Some parents ignored my greetings or forbade their children from walking with me. Others blamed me for having refused to get married and for pursuing my studies instead. They thought I was a brazen girl. They wished to hear that I had an unwanted pregnancy. Their opposition was a positive driving force for me. I wanted to prove to them that they were mistaken not to support me. They changed their minds later, however. Some admitted that they couldn’t have stopped me and that I surprised them. We live in a society where it’s wrong to have a young girl who, in addition to going to school, talks about sexuality issues, goes to meetings, trains others, is an active member of an organisation, and appears on TV and the radio. But I was passionate about all that, and it was my duty. 

What meaning did you give to your rebellion?  Was there a goal you wanted to reach back then?

All I wanted was to spread information about sexual and reproductive health. Because a lack of information can be fatal. I thought that if my best friend had to die and I had to live, it would be to honor her memory. It would be to fight to prevent as many girls as possible from ending up like her. As a result, I was so intensely involved in this movement and still am today. I believe there is a girl somewhere who needs information to avoid the irreversible. Each time I participated in a talk or went to the radio, I felt a moral satisfaction knowing that somewhere, I had saved someone’s life. That’s what motivates me. I aspire to give information at every level to save someone’s life. 

How would you describe resistance? What does it mean to you?

For me, resistance is not yielding to the temptation of conformism. It’s a very compelling temptation in our society, and when I was young, I didn’t have any inspiring models of resistance around me or in the world. Look at marriage issues for instance. We live in a world where everyone around us is getting married. Once you turn seventeen, when you greet someone, their answer is: “When are you getting married?”. It’s very tempting. The men around you only see a wife in you. Not a person who can contribute to the community’s development, but someone to marry or to make a pass at. It’s important not to yield to temptation, and to instead set personal goals. I think resistance is focusing on your goals and not fitting in.

Do you remember your first act of resistance? 

When I was 18, my youngest sister was going to undergo female genital mutilation (FGM). The procedure was scheduled for early in the morning. The night before, around 6pm, I ran away with her. I didn’t have the chance to escape it, but I didn’t want her to experience that. Back then, nobody would listen to me. I didn’t have the power to change a family decision. So, I ran away with her, and took her to my school. I asked the security guard if we could stay there. I begged him and we spent the night there. The next day, when the principal arrived, I explained the situation. He asked me if I had an understanding aunt or uncle to go to. He took us to my aunt’s and asked her to talk my father out of this decision. My parents looked everywhere for us, and they were worried. My aunt called my father to tell him we were at her house. She told him that if he didn’t change his mind, my sister and I would stay with her. We stayed at her place for two days, and then my father came to pick us up.  My sister did not undergo FGM. We had cousins and nieces who lived with us who didn’t go through the procedure either. 

At the time, were you afraid? If so, what were you afraid of? 

I was afraid. When I first resisted, I didn’t know where to go. I had no plan; I only knew what I wanted. I had no money or support. I was also afraid of my father’s reaction. But I resisted anyway.

Besides your allies and opponents, were there people around you who didn’t have an opinion and didn’t say anything?

I was angrier at those who were indifferent than at those who disapproved of me. Their silence and lack of action were maddening. They would witness unfair situations and wouldn’t react. This was heavier to carry than people fighting against my actions. They can’t serve as allies because they’re silent.  Their silence and lack of action hurt more than the backlash.

What would you have needed to make your resistance easier? 

I would’ve needed an organization or people in the community who could help and support me. Some days, I needed 250 francs to take the bus, and I didn’t have anyone to give it to me. There is often a lack of support, not necessarily financial, for young girls. My school’s principal was a tremendous support, not financially, but he would take me to the meetings on his bike. He had to take me back home once they were over to prevent my parents from grounding me. If he had to do the same with 10 or 20 girls, his support wouldn’t have been possible. You often need a mentor or coach to give you advice but not to decide for you. I knew that if things went wrong, I could go to the principal and talk to him. He understood me and didn't judge me. You’re told you can never be right when you’re a teenager.

What does solidarity mean? How did it manifest around your resistance in your life when you were a teenager?

For me, solidarity means helping one another. I believe that if someone wants to achieve something, other people’s help is necessary. It’s the solidarity that gives your fight meaning. If you fight a battle with opponents only, you will give up. Solidarity is the reason to go on and move forward. I believe solidarity and helping one another is the foundation. It’s because of my parents’ and the principal’s solidarity that I could keep on fighting. I would have given up otherwise. 

When I ran away from home with my sister, I knew that my mother would’ve understood my decision. I wouldn’t have dared to do this if no one from the family supported me. When I stayed sleeping at the school with my sister, I knew the principal would understand the next day. I would explain the issue to him, and it would’ve made sense. This solidarity is what we need to keep on fighting. Unfortunately, many girls don't have sympathetic ears to listen to them and are forced to give up. People listen to them to judge them. 

What’s interesting in what you’re saying about solidarity is that you received strong support from older women: your mother and your aunt. Do you think this intergenerational solidarity between women is worth more? 

Absolutely. Intergenerational solidarity is crucial. These people are more experienced than you. They understand you well because they are experienced. They were young once. Their support is necessary because they know how to build confidence. It's different from people your age.  You can’t expect much from them. When the person is the same age as you and shares their opinion, you listen but tell yourself that you don't have to do what they say because the person may not know much more than you do. However, we listen to elders because they’re wise.

How did your resistance evolve into something more sustainable while many people, even older ones, disagreed with your activism? 

I started with the root of my fear: my parents’ reaction, my classmates’, and society’s. I had to fight them. I set the goal to first change behaviors around me before changing others. So, I started raising awareness at home. I had to serve as a model, and so did my family. My mother helped a lot. I would share every piece of information I had with her, make her follow, and apply my training at home. I gradually changed her opinion on early marriage and girls’ education, etc.  

It was harder with my father. Every day, someone would mention to him that they saw me on TV or heard me on the radio. He would often come home upset. My mother and I gradually convinced him. As time went by, he understood and became my real ally. Can you imagine me editing my speeches with him? He also became a peer educator. He informs others about the dangers of FGM and early marriage. He raises awareness among other parents so that their daughters stay in school and continue their studies. Two weeks ago, someone wanted to marry off her daughter in the neighbourhood. She came to ask us to speak with her father about it. My father went to him to convince him to let her continue her studies. 

How did it feel to see such a change in your parents? 

My greatest pride and my biggest achievement are the change I brought into our family. I see my mother being the one who advises other mothers today. My father goes around to tell people not to force girls through FGM or marry them off early or by force. This is my greatest pride, a feeling I can’t even describe. 

In the third and final part, Adam tells us how her resistance impacted others… and herself. Click here for this part.