“People said that I was brazen because I had gone to school” - Dr. Aissa Bouwaye Ado (Niger) – 2/4

We follow our conversation with Dr. Aissa Bouwaye Ado, a decade-long public worker from Niger. 

After she told us about her desire to be educated even though it was forbidden because of her child of the Royal Court status in the first part, she now shares her fight against being forced into marriage at the end of her adolescence in this second part. 

Dr. Aissa was interviewed by Françoise Moudouthe in late 2019 as part of a global project documenting girls’ resistance. The conversation was edited into this four-part interview by Nana Bruce-Amanquah and Chanceline Mevowanou for our #GirlsResistWA series. You can learn more about the series here. 

Trigger warning: this conversation contains mentions of violence and abuse which may be triggering for readers. Kindly take a moment to decide if you want to keep reading. If you do proceed, we encourage you to centre your wellbeing and stop reading at any point, as you need.

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What were the great moments in the history of your country or even your community that marked you when you were between 10 and 20 years old? 

We came to high school around 1970 and four years later, the first regime since independence had its first coup in 1974. It was the military regime. They ruled with an iron fist. So, while we were in boarding school, the country was under a military regime. 

Did it affect you daily or not at all?

No. At boarding school, we knew it was discipline and everything. The thing that affected us was when I was in Eleventh Grade. We went on strike and the President… look he's a military man. He closed the boarding schools and immediately sent us back to the village. They drove us with the guards and everything. We were taken back, and the police chief was instructed to take care of us. It so happened that in my region in Dakoro, I was the only high school student. So, every time there was a movement in the school, I was summoned to the police to see if I was not behind it all. They were monitoring us. We spent a year like that; the boarding schools remained closed during the whole year in 1976. One year without going to school, and we were all sent home. It was at the beginning of the 1976-77 school year that he allowed the reopening. 

You mentioned a forced marriage. Can you tell me more? 

At that time, I had two first cousins: one is the son of my dad's older sister, and the other is the son of my mom's older sister, or my dad's older brother…something like that. They were older, but they were still young unmarried people.  All the time when I was a kid, they would say, "Here you go, you’re being saved for two husbands, one or the other, you're going to be so-and-so's wife. I would even see the two men fussing over me, "No, she's for me," "No, she's for me”. And people would say, "Well, we'll see". Eventually, there was a coup and the cousin who was a soldier died in the coup. So that meant that the other one had a clear way. 

And did you marry him? What happened then?

My uncle supported me. He liked me a lot because I worked hard. He told the family that I should be allowed to go back to school. So, with difficulty, I did my National Diploma (called BEPC at the time) in 1974 and then my high school diploma D [scientific] in 1978, at twenty years old. Since I graduated high school, I should have gone to university. The uncle who protected me had left for Dakar. He asked that I be sent to Dakar to study there with him. I was ready to study in Dakar. When my family learned that I graduated high school, they decided that I was to marry my cousin, whether I or my uncle agreed or not. The chief, my grandfather, also agreed. My uncle, who was covering for me, couldn't do anything. He had to respect the chief’s decision. When I came to prepare for my departure to Dakar, I was told stopped and told that the man came to present his marriage certificate. “You are married, so you are not going to Dakar.” This is how I found out that the marriage was sealed. The cousin chose to do the marriage certificate at the police office. He also went to the Ministry of Health to ensure that I stayed in Niamey.

I said OK and started university in Niamey. I lived with the same uncle who always supported me until he said that since I was married, I should join my husband. I said no. I moved out of his house and got a room on the university campus. Right away, this started a fight between my uncle and me. Then I went to the university boarding school. My uncle informed the family in Dakoro that I refused to stay with him and went back to the boarding school, where men and girls are mixed. One or two months after I started at the university, my cousin came to find me. At that time, I had met someone.

Oh, did you meet someone else in college? 

Yes, I was in my first year of medical school, and he was in his third year of medical school. He tutored us and taught our group revisions, and he started to take an interest in me. He’s my husband actually, the father of my children. 

I was clear with him. I said, "Look, I'm a girl with problems and I'm looking for support. If you know you can, let’s do this”. He said he could. That's how we started dating. I told him, "the man who was chosen by my family is coming all the way here because he says I'm his wife," and when that man came, we told him not to come anymore. 

Six months later, I sent a message home to say that I found someone and asked if I should get married to annul the other marriage. They said, "No way. He is the one we chose. Even if this man you chose is the president's son, we won’t approve of this union." When I learned this, I informed my future husband that we should get engaged and explain the situation to the prosecutor.

What happened with the prosecutor? 

I mobilised the students, and they accompanied us. Can you imagine? We walked to the courthouse. I explained to the prosecutor that I had been forced into a marriage and now that I wanted to get married, my family had refused. I could not attack the family directly, but it was possible administratively, and that's how I did it. In short, the prosecutor summoned the police official who performed the forced marriage and signed the marriage certificate. He called him and asked him, "Was the girl there when you signed it?" 

Of course, I was not there. It was my whole family that was there, on my side and the husband's side. The prosecutor said no, a marriage certificate is signed when both spouses are present. So, he ruled that this marriage had to be annulled. My family refused. They said, "No, the chief has spoken. No one can go against what the chief said."

How did you deal with the situation with the chef? 

When I went on vacation, I went to see my grandfather. It was quite a scandal. A girl going into the Royal Court to talk to the traditional chief was a scandal. My family was stunned. They said that I was brazen because I had gotten an education. 

We went back for the second year of medical school and I came back to the capital. They were summoned again to the court. Once, the chief came to Niamey for a hearing. Can you imagine? Only he could free me. He took out a paper and made a divorce certificate. He put his stamp. I brought the certificate to the court, and it was validated.

Wow! And then the path was clear for the wedding you wanted?  

Not so fast. There was still another step, having my family welcome the man I am going to bring. Turning down a family member and bringing in someone from outside the family...culturally speaking, it's an insult. It's as if you have shown that the men in the family are incapable, that you had to find a husband elsewhere. So, once that’s set, you must check the other man's family, ethnicity, and wealth. We must go and meet his family. So, a delegation went to the village of my future husband. They went, they saw, and they were satisfied. That's when they agreed that my husband could marry me.

The family was naturally divided: those who were on my cousin’s side and those who were on my side. We didn't even know where to celebrate the wedding in this context. How do we celebrate when they gave their agreement, but disagree because I rejected the other? Finally, and with difficulty, we found guardians and they convinced my family to celebrate. Then we got married.

Who was on your side? 

Even if my parents didn’t talk to me directly, I felt that they loved and supported me. When I was fighting the family, I had to ask them: “Are you in on this?” They said, “No we’re not. But we can’t say anything.”. That was the most important part for me. That they didn’t support it. I was going against the family, not them. 

After she told us how hard she had to fight to marry the person she wanted, we'll continue the discussion with her views on resistance in part three. Click here to read the next part.