“It is very important for women to start paying attention to and follow that inner voice" – Gwendolyn Myers (Liberia) – 2/2

This is the second and final part of our conversation with Gwendolyn Myers, advocate for global youth, peace and security from Liberia. In the first part of the interview, she spoke about growing up in Montserrado County and becoming famous as a teenager for speaking on the radio about child advocacy and peace building work. After emphasising the importance of her faith and its role in her ability to discern her purpose, we now discuss how she pursued that purpose despite potential danger and the conflicting opinions of others. 

Gwendolyn was interviewed by Françoise Moudouthe in late 2019 as part of a global project documenting girls’ resistance. The conversation has been edited into this two-part interview by Nana Bruce-Amanquah for our #GirlsResistWA series. You can find out more about the series here. 

Trigger Warning: This conversation contains mentions of violence and abuse that may be triggering for readers. Kindly take a moment to decide if you want to keep reading. If you proceed, we encourage you to focus on your well-being and stop reading at any point if you need to.

**********

When I reached out to you, I explained that we’re trying to explore the different ways where young girls have been leading resistance across the region. When you hear resistance, what does that mean for you?

I always tell young people, don’t just do something because people want you to do it. All the people that are very important to you — your parents, your teachers, your mentors, your religious leaders – they might consistently tell you what you need to do, where you need to go, and why you need to do it. And don’t get me wrong, we all need that sometimes and I have had great mentors. But if you do not feel what they are talking about inside of you, if it’s not what you wake up to and go to sleep with, you need to respectfully decline. That’s what I’m defining as resistance. 

Could you give an example of where you have needed to respectfully decline something?

I was doing all this advocacy work but my undergrad is in biology and chemistry. So my religious mentor wanted me to be a doctor. He would say, “You are so smart. This kind of brain, you cannot waste it. Go into the sciences. Go and read medicine. You will be a great doctor.” I never felt passionate about the sciences, and after I made the grades and came out of it, I said enough is enough. Peace is my calling. Peace is my drive. And that’s how I stood tall in a respectful way. That same religious mentor told me, “there’s no career for a young woman in peace work.” And he was not saying that because he didn’t believe in me but because at the time, he could only see me being a doctor. But I had my own drive. My kind of resistance is a positive resistance. I had my own faith inside, and today that same religious mentor has called me to say, “You told me you were going to make me proud and you have.” He was so determined to do anything just to see me rise, and I couldn’t be more grateful to that mentor, because he pushed me. I’ve always said that gratitude is important on this journey. People might not take you to the end of the road, but we can appreciate every little effort that they make on the journey.

I quite like this idea of positive resistance! What really stands out from what you have said so far is that you had a lot of clarity about what your calling was. And that clarity has helped you to say no – respectfully as you say – to other paths. Now I want to ask, would you feel any fear of saying no during those moments? 

Oh yes! Obviously! When telling your people “no, I don’t want to do this, I want this instead, and I don’t feel that thing”, people would talk. They would say, “Okay, you’ll be on your own.” And when somebody in my culture tells you that you will be on your own, they’re saying just know that whatever you face out there, don’t come back to ask anybody for help, because we told you exactly what it is, and you said “no, this is what I feel.”

It’s a very tricky thing but I like what you said about clarity and already knowing what I wanted. That is the turning point for a lot of people. It is important, especially for young women, to reach that place when you know your purpose. Sometimes your purpose will come to you very early. Sometimes you will experience it later. Sometimes when you’re not even thinking about it, you find yourself doing some activity, and it will just come to you. But like I said before, I realised that a lot of times we do not pay attention to our inner selves. It is very important for women, even the young ones coming up behind us, to start paying attention to and follow that inner voice. That inner voice will never lead you astray.

What would you say was your first ever act of resistance, big or small, as a girl?

I’m really thankful for my upbringing because my parents always created that atmosphere where even if you do not agree, you can say so in a respectful way and we can all talk about it. So by growing up in that kind of family, I’ve always had that sense of resistance. I think that contributed a lot to the person I am today. Because of the different ways I see and think about things, people are like, “are you normal?” Sometimes it’s like I’m living in a different part of the world because the way I think that things should be can sound so different to others. But my family is used to that part of me. When someone says something thinking that everything is just fine, Gwendolyn comes in to say, “let’s go deeper.” So now my family and even some of my friends call me Gwendolyn the analyst. I don’t just look at things from the surface, and that is because of my mediation background. It’s about constantly asking questions, like “why do we do it this way? What happens if we do it that way?” And the more you initiate that dialogue, it allows everyone to see things that they didn’t even notice before. They get to see a bigger picture that helps the common good. 

Peacebuilding and conflict resolution is a dangerous field and you started doing this work very early on. Can you tell me about a moment where you felt particularly unsafe because of that resistance you were pushing in that field? 

Working for peace is not easy, you’re right to say that. There was a time that I remember wanting to go to Chad on this mission, and when I told my mom she said, “You’re going to that place? The government there, they can do this, they can do that…”, you know how parents are. They worry about all kinds of fearful things. And I just said, “Do you think I’m only doing peace work for when things are very good? Whatever the case, I will go there.” At that point my mom said, “Are you kidding me? You mean you are prepared to even risk your life?” And I replied, “Yes. I don’t just do peace work where there is stability. Anywhere there is devastation in a place, I will go there.” 

You've spoken so brilliantly about the support you’ve gotten from your parents, your mentors, and your faith. However, I'm also aware that in any story of resistance, especially coming from a young woman, there are also some people who are not on your side. As a young woman advocating for peace, who were your adversaries?

Many of the professionals and the people in power. The people who you think should already be leading the way because they’re at a certain level. At the time, my struggle was dealing with a lack of support from these people. But I want to be positive about them and say they are still good people. Not everyone has the patience or tolerance to deal with being disrespected by the same people you want to support and benefit with your work. But you know why I do it? It’s again because of my faith. Peace-building requires teamwork. It’s not just going to be one person doing this. 

I want to be clear; it’s not that people in power do not want to do something, but I think it’s because of the circumstances. You can’t blame people who have already been in silos and then distance themselves from challenges brought up by the very people they want to support. Not many people can stand that. It is a difficult thing. But that’s what I went through. And the reason I’m saying this is because I’m now in a better position to understand. 

And when I was doing well, I also struggled with seeing the very people I expected to cheer me on become envious of me. They wouldn’t say it sometimes to my face, but they would know how to do it in a very professional and diplomatic way. They’d block me. Of course it hurts, I will not pretend it doesn’t. But there is something that people do not understand about me. Every time someone blocks me, I always create a new path. This is the thing that I think frustrates people: whenever I see you blocking my plans, I say okay, you blocked this area of the road, then I am creating a new one. And I break through hidden barriers because of that strength and innovation. 

Did you feel that any of the challenges you experienced as a young peace advocate were related to you being a girl who resisted?

Oh yes! Imagine them asking, “Who does she think she is?” But again, I stay positive about it, because when people are saying things like this about you, then it tells you that they’re nervous about you. And you don’t need to get angry with these people because they’re seeing something in you and that’s why they’re making all these comments. 

One incident that gets to my skin comes to mind and it’s about sexual harassment. This is an important message to young women. There are men who say you should compromise your dignity because of some project proposal so you can get funding. I’ve always said this, and I’ll repeat it: if I have a relationship with someone, let it be because I have feelings for someone and I really want to be in a relationship with them. There are offers that will come, but they come with a price tag. I continue to see it happening because I’m always standing strong against that. I’m focused on resisting that. 

And you know what these guys will say? “Oh, don’t mind her, she will not survive without having that money.” This is when you tell them - and I’ve said it to a lot of the men who said that to me - “You will come to eat your words.” And they do. These are the same men who will rise on their feet and applaud to welcome me when I’m giving a speech or being interviewed. That’s how you dare to stop people like that, and in a positive way. 

Today I run an organisation that I’m still funding by myself. All the little bit of money that I get from public speaking and other personal things, I’m constantly investing it in the organisation. 

The first major grant Messengers of Peace got was from UNDP. And that’s why I say good people are still around. Somebody from UNDP said, “You know what, these people are doing their job. Why can’t they be supported? What is the problem preventing a young woman who has been doing all this work, not only in Liberia but across the continent, from getting money? What’s going on?” During that meeting, we showed that through consistency, somebody - a young woman with a sea of young people - can do all this work without donor funding. 

From what I gather, you always did your work in a collective way. You were always involved in a program or mentoring others. Why does this collective approach matter so much and at what moment did your personal resistance become collective?

I’m constantly trying to see the positive in everything. There are people who do not fit into that orientation. But I have a kind of mindset where I say to myself that I cannot let these young people down. I’m serious, if today I get angry and do not push for them to succeed, who is going to help them? Who is going to do it for them? Most of the young people that I mentor, I speak with them until I see them succeed. And when they start to succeed, sometimes they write on social media, “Oh my God! What would we do without this woman?” Most times I see myself standing alone. But when you have everybody on board it is really good, whether it’s a bunch of different organisations or international agencies, whatever it takes. I really do believe in collective work. 

Looking at this issue of teamwork and solidarity, can you remember a time as a girl where you realised that you only managed to do something because you were not working alone? What did you learn from it?

Now you're taking my mind back because I'm thinking - what is it I was able to do? There are different leadership styles - whether it is coordinating, accommodating, supporting - and different stages of team building and teamwork. As a leader, you need to be very self-aware. You need to know when to show authority as a leader, and when to say, “okay, I’ve got to wait for everybody.” In my work I manage up to 1,500 young volunteers. During Ebola, I needed to give parents assurance. I had to give assurance for the lives of people that I have no control over - can you imagine? Since we were in an Ebola hot spot, I had to accompany these children and employ safety measures. Anything that could happen to anybody’s child was my responsibility. Imagine that pressure. And at that time my parents said – you are risking your life in so many ways. It was at that point where my dad said, “This thing has you going crazy. Why would you take responsibility like this?” I said, “Dad, if we don’t do it, who will do it for us?” I’m always asking that question - who would do it for you?

With that large number of young volunteers, people ask how do you do it? It’s not easy. But the thing is, I take care of myself. I meditate, I dance, I do all the stuff to take care of myself and to be in that state of well-being – because dealing with all of these people is not an easy thing. And I pray a lot. I pray, I sing, I dance. All the things I need to do to keep myself safe and ready for this journey. 

With all the work that you are doing, what kind of world are you trying to build, especially for girls? What does a world that is a result of your work look like and feel like? 

It would be a world where people would be able to live and respect each other, honestly, regardless of differences. Even amid the differences we talk about, there is still a sign of hope to love and support each other. Even if you don’t like me because of what I’m doing, there is still something you could find that you like about me if you search deep. We should treat each other with respect, with appreciation. 

I imagine a world where every young girl is able to address her view, to be bold but also be objective. To always know that though you are bold and standing up, you can also take into consideration what the other person has experienced even if they do not respect you or understand what you are doing. Constantly putting myself in the shoes of people is how we make this work. If something is not working, don’t use it to judge and castigate somebody. These are things that breed hatred, tension, and all the bad things in this world. If something is not working, let’s see how we can fix it and find a way and talk about it. I believe whenever we go through a healthy dialogue, that constant engagement of communication on a particular issue, we will see something there that we appreciate about one another. Honestly, that is the world I’m really dreaming of. And I will not rest until we achieve it, I will keep serving until my last breath. 

That’s a beautiful vision. Thank you so much for your inspiring insight and passing on what you’ve learned. 

This conversation is part of a series of interviews with women from West Africa on the theme of resistance. Click here to see all the interviews.