“Resistance means fighting back when your dreams are on the verge of being shattered”- Musu Bakoto Sawo (The Gambia) - 4/5

We are in conversation with Musu Bakoto, exploring the theme of girls resistance. In the previous part of the interview (Part 3), we discussed Musu’s experience of child marriage. This is better-understood in the context of her recollections of what girlhood and adolescence felt like for her (Part 1) and a zoom into the people who influenced her (Part 2).

In this fourth part of the conversation, we learn more on her thoughts on resistance and the many ways she has shown acts of resistance through her growth. 

Musu was first interviewed by Françoise Moudouthe in late 2019, as part of the global project documenting girls’ resistance. The conversation has been edited into this five-part interview by Jama Jack, for our #GirlsResistWA series. You can find out more about the series here.

Trigger Warning: This conversation contains mentions of violence and suicide, which may be triggering for readers. Kindly take a moment to decide if you want to keep reading. If you do proceed, we encourage you to centre your wellbeing and stop reading at any point, as you need.

**********

As you know, this series is all about girls’ resistance. What does resistance mean to you?

Resistance means fighting back when your dreams are on the verge of being shattered. Resistance is fighting patriarchy and all forms of inequalities that women face because of their gender. For me, resistance is to just fight the norms, especially those that negatively impact your life generally.

That’s a beautiful definition of resistance. As a girl, did you see examples of resistance? Did you have role models for resistance around you?

No! All the women who were around me as a girl were submissive. They never spoke up and would always seek their husbands’ permission for everything. Within my close family, there was no woman who embodied resistance for me. It was the same story of submission for everyone, and I always wondered why they were all behaving like robots. 

Women are often told that their children would only be successful if they submit to the male authorities in their lives. My mother passed away, but people tell us that her virtues and submission are the reason we are successful today. This is the story of most women in my life. I didn't quite get it and there wasn't any explanation. I wanted a completely different life. I wanted to be the woman who challenges everything that is a disadvantage to me or other women around me. 

What would you consider as your first act of resistance? 

Refusing to do laundry for my brothers was one of my first acts of resisting. The norm was that girls would do the household chores while the boys were free to do play and do what they wanted. I was about nine years old, and was seriously beaten for this resistance, but I still refused to do it.

And what would you say was the catalyst for that resistance? I realise that this was around the same time you started advocacy work. Is there a connection?

Of course! We were learning about the concepts of equality and the best interests of the child. I was learning about my rights and putting that into practice. I understood that being told to do my brothers’ laundry was unfair. When I referred to the new language and concepts I was learning, it made sense. 

Fighting back didn’t always go well. It was perceived as disrespect to my parents. I would ask many questions and as a result, I got more beatings than any of my siblings. This didn’t stop me from fighting back, and I’m glad that I continued to resist. It felt good.  

You took many more acts of resistance after that initial one. What would you say was the biggest act of resistance of your girlhood or adolescence?

It was when I refused to be pulled out of school for marriage. I took the risk and threatened that I would commit suicide. I stopped talking to my family and refused to eat. I would always stay in bed and cry all day. The marriage had already happened, and I couldn’t do anything about it, but I knew that I had to do something so that my life wouldn’t end there. I didn’t know what the outcome would be, but it worked!

However, even though my plan worked, and I was still going to school, I was always afraid that I would wake up one day and be shipped off for marriage. It could have happened, and I wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it. The groom’s family could have rejected the arrangement at any point, and because I was now married into their family, my father wouldn’t have much power over what happens with me. 

Through these acts of resistance from a very early age, what were you most afraid of?

I was afraid of getting pregnant and not being able to go to school again. At the time, there was a policy in The Gambia that prevented girls who had left school because of pregnancy from returning after delivery. I was only 14 years old, but I wasn’t the typical girl at that age because I had to take on adult responsibilities. I also befriended older women and would ask them many questions. Before the marriage was consummated, I got advice from an older woman and she recommended contraceptives, which I took. 

I was a child that was forced to grow up, but I was afraid of becoming a mother at that age and having to let go of my dreams of becoming a lawyer and fighting for girls and women. 

I eventually had my daughter when I was 21 years old. 

I had to build a wall around me to protect myself because no one cared about me enough to fight for me.

And again, through this resistance, did you have any allies? 

I don’t think I had allies at the time. Maybe just the woman who introduced me to contraceptives and helped me to prevent a pregnancy. She was my biggest ally at the time. 

I had friends who also did nothing when I informed them that my dad had married me off. Some of them did not even respond to my messages. I felt alone in my struggle, and it is the worst feeling especially when you are surrounded by so many people. I had no one I could trust, and I shut down completely. 

I don’t often speak about these experiences, and when I get to share, people see me as a strong woman. I wasn’t strong; I had to build a wall around me to protect myself because no one cared about me enough to fight for me. I eventually realised that I couldn’t do everything on my own and that I needed support. 

In that time, what kind of support would have been useful for you? What would have fuelled your resistance even more?

Just having someone that I could share my feelings with would have made a difference. If I had someone that I could talk to, especially being a child, that would have been a game changer. Most importantly, not being forcefully married would have changed my whole story. I would have been the happiest.

That’s not all from Musu. In the last part of our conversation, we dig even further into the concept of resistance, and also learn about how she continues to resist patriarchy in her life today, in solidarity with other actors. Read the final part here.